9 years, 1 month, 21 days later...

WOW. Rereading some of these events really brings a tear to my eye. And there is so much to fill in since my last post. 

• Oct 22, 2016: HARLEY WAS BORN!!!!! My heart explodes with joy when I think of her and my beautiful family. 
• 2017: I got a career! 
• 2018: Ellen got a career! 
• 2019: We bought a house?! Dad in Taiwan, and GLOBAL PANDEMIC! 
• 2020: The Pod: High School but for Parents
• 2020-2022: The Lost Years (house remodel, COD, and Sanitizers) 
• 2022: Harper the Mongolian Archer, Soccer Coaching
• 2023: Julie! Mom! 
• 2024: We got a puppy, Buddy (aka Budtittilin the 1st, aka Butdy, aka Butt)

What Babies Dream About

A cry wailed across the house and I hear Ellen running to the bedroom. Harper's having a nightmare again and she'll continue crying until you wake her up. We learned that the hard way by thinking there's something wrong and trying to find out what. That was frustrating as hell.  

Now that the light is on and Harper fell back asleep in her crevice between our bed and the wall, Elle and I chatted about what babies dream about, or what they have nightmares about. It occurred to me that a baby's nightmare could be something as simple as not being able to fit in their special little crevice anymore. No matter where we put Harper on the bed, she'll crawl into her little corner, wiggling around to make herself comfortable. Everyday she's growing bigger and bigger, and I'm sure she's already starting to feel tight in that corner. One day, she won't fit anymore (and one day, I won't be able to carry her around anymore...).

Anyways, I'm probably wrong. I just like imagining things. 

Anniversary Card

I Love You

when i say i love you
i think of you

you asked for something i have never shared with anyone else
i married you

I may have experienced other things
i WIll never experience this again
my first anniversary full of LOVE
MY first holy gift
my first kiss with my WIFE
something i will cherish FOREVER


my first ANYTHING


I   WILL  LOVE   MY   WIFE    FOREVER

Sleeping Angel

Every morning before work I'd kiss you

 on the lips and forehead. 

You'd smile even though you're asleep. 

I hope you have sweet dreams 

of mommy and daddy

hugging you, 

always there for you, 

and above all

 pouring their hearts out for you. 

We love you so much. 

Life with Harper!!

It's been a while since I've written in this blog, and there's a good reason for it. Her name is Harper Alexandria Kuo, born 6/6/2014. She's a beautiful baby girl with big eyes, soft voice, and generosity as demonstrated by her constant want to feed the dog, me, my wife, and sometimes other babies. My thoughts are with her and my wife all the time. Every single thing, every single movement makes my heart melt.

BITTERSWEET

While I feel this complete and overwhelming joy when lying in bed looking at you and your mother sleeping, I feel equally as sad knowing the only way I can hold onto this moment is to remember it and keep it in my memories. You are growing everyday, learning a bit more about the world, becoming just a bit more mobile, and another day closer to that fateful day when you'll move out or get married, and our happy trio is back to a happy duo. Of course, your brothers/sisters have not been born yet so we might just keep them around forever (lol i'm just kidding). 

But it really is bittersweet. I'm so happy to just be looking at you, and it makes me so sad that this moment is just that, a moment. That is why I have to make sure you grow up to be a great person, classy, intelligent, sharp, and beautiful so you can continue the path your mother and I have started. We are far from perfect, but hopefully you'll be a little closer to what we hope to be, and your children will be a little bit closer than that, and so on and so forth. 

Harper is HERE!

It's been a while since I wrote anything. There's a good reason for that. But I will get to that later. Right now, I'm going to talk about my sunshine. That light in my life. Her full name is Harper Alexandria Kuo.

She was born at the Methodist Hospital in Arcadia, California. 22 inches long and 7 lbs 2 ounces of pure joy and angelic softness. 

1st Anniversary!

I prepared the photo
i got ready the camera
I remembered our promise
I bought us the gift
it's that time of year
it's our anniversary.
it is our anniversary.

I'm much older
i know
i'm the man
i know
i have a tattoo
i know
but you still love me
i know

i've experienced a lot
so? you're still friends with your past!
and? but there's more to us than the past!
i know...
yes,
i know.

I said I'm going to suck out your brain as I kissed her ear. She says, i don't have much brains. I reply, oh great. I'm gonna starve now.

Prayer of the Loved

Dear God, 

I am not perfect. 

Please stop Ellen from thinking I am. 

It is not fair to her, 

and it is not fair to me. 

I continuously try to play the role

and continuously come short. 

And it's not because I don't try, 

it's just that she sees me

as someone I am not,

and it is hard to live up to that image. 

So please stop blinding her to the fact

that I am who I am -

flawed. 

Should the day come

when she realizes I am not perfect, 

please give me the strength to carry on

living. 

Amen.

True Cruelty and Internal Conflict

I am not perfect. I'm far from it. But honestly, I want to be perfect. I wish I was that perfect boyfriend, husband, or man that Ellen deserves. It saddens me that I'm not, and it kills me that I will never be. But I will keep on pretending because it makes her happy, and her happiness is all I want. 

Oftentimes, I would close my eyes and wonder what I have done to deserve such a loving person in my life. I clearly do not deserve her, and yet she loves me wholeheartedly. Her dedication and love blinds her to my flaws. Why would God do something so cruel to one of his creations? 

But nevertheless I am hopeful. I will keep pretending I am perfect. And should one day she realize I am what I am, then I will accept the cruel fate destiny has dealt me. 

Reasons why you are irreplaceable

> Before we got a washer and dryer, you would hand wash my boxers and socks
> You don't know how to cook but learned because of me.
> You learn to do things you hate because of me i.e. clean the house, do the laundry, cook, etc.
> You ALWAYS offer me the first bite/drink.
> You got an iPhone 4 but exchanged it with my iPhone 3 because you thought I wanted it.
> You always say good things about me to other people, no matter what.
> You gave me your car when I didn't have one.
> You coo over EVERY picture you have of me.
> You always apologize even when I'm obviously wrong.

That's how I know....

I pinched her leg and she pinches me back with her fingernails. We sat there screaming at each other to stop while laughing hysterically. A minute later she looks down at my arm and asks me if it hurts. I say yes, it hurts a lot. It'll probably bruise or scar. This brings tears to her eyes. 

"Why are you crying?" I ask. 

"Because I hurt my baby..." She says, as she holds my arm and coos over the bruise.

You truly are one-in-a-million, babe. 

My Hand in Marriage!!

Ellen and I got married at the Orange County clerk-recorders office in Fullerton. Aunt Claire, Aunt Jane, and my mom went to be our witnesses. 

They were all very excited and happy for us. The whole process took about 15 minutes before we went into the room where the ceremony took place and we exchanged rings. Ellen stumbled over the vows because she didn't really understand what they said. And of course she cried. 

Afterwards, we went to Cheesecake Factory. Needless to say, we took a lot of pictures there as well. 

Las Vegas Weekend for President's Day!

So, we tagged along with my dad and his friend Nelson to Vegas because they had to run errands. It wasn't my idea to go but Ellen wanted to celebrate her finishing her finals... even though she was sick and on the verge of coughing up a lung. Nothing is going to stop this girl from "doing Vegas."  

Once we arrived at the Palazzo, we went to Club Paiza on the 50th floor (http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-paiza-club-las-vegas) to have dinner with my dad's friends and some others. Apparently, I have no idea what's so special about the food but from what Elle tells me, it's EXTREMELY expensive i.e. shark fin soup, etc.

Giant shrimp w/ giant head. I dub her "Ellen"

The only thing I cared about was drinking Blue Label with the men since I've never had it before. Good thing one of the gentlemen that was there made sure my glass was never empty. Turns out this guy is the father of someone in the Taiwanese band F4 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F4_(band)). More ignorance on my part. Good thing I have Ellen to enlighten me on such things.  

Blue Label on the rocks at Club Paiza

That night we checked into a room on the 47th floor. Nothing spectacular because all Palazzo rooms are suites. But the next morning we upgraded to a penthouse suite on the 50th floor. Now, that was something! Here's a quick tour. 

The living room w/ a bedroom to the right and one to the left. Our's was on the right.

The view from our room

Private spa in our bedroom? Yes, please. (Ok, not in my room but my dad's, but what's the difference?)

The bathroom, where I will spend most of my time.

The thing that fascinated me most: remote control for everything! (I'm easily amused

We were told to charge everything to the room and not to spend a penny of our own. I was more than happy to oblige, and so we went back to Club Paiza and had more expensive Chinese food. I wanted to drink more but Ellen won't let me. Said something about drinking too much the night before and going to bed at 6:30 in the morning. I had to agree. I think I polished off half a bottle of Blue Label and went downstairs and had a bottle of Black Label... by myself. All I remember is waking up with an elbow in my face and almost 2 grand in my pocket (that's a lie; it was 1 grand). 

After a tiff with Elle about sleeping so late, I agreed to take her shopping. Gentlemen, please note. If your girl is mad at you, just tell her you'll take her shopping. They can't resist. They'll try but it's futile. But be forewarned, it'll cost a pretty penny and you'll have to pretend you deserve the punishment. Just look at how happy Ellen is afterwards. 

Ellen BEFORE we went shopping. 

Ellen AFTER we went shopping.

Ellen showing off her new Chanel earrings

After quelling her need to prove her dominance over me, she allowed me to go downstairs and play some poker, providing I don't drink anymore. I was quick to agree because I was feeling nauseous from walking around and the last thing I wanted was a drink. So, we decided to go to Wynn instead since our show,Le Reve, was there (sorry babe, we'll go watch Love: The Beatles next time). 

Le Reve @ Wynn

I had a major realization this weekend. People who are meant for each other make each other a better and more lovable person. Ellen is the perfect match for me because she forces me to be a better person. How do I know? Because my parents are proud of me, something I never thought would happen, and their friends like us. But honestly, I think everyone only likes her and I’m part of the package deal. No Alex = No Ellen 

Bye now! 

Dinner: My dad and Ellen's parents

We had dinner at a sushi restaurant in San Gabriel. The party consisted of My dad, Nelson, Ellen's parents, and us. We order sashimi and hot pot, and had a few drinks. It was pretty fun because Nelson carried on the conversation and was being typically loud as always. Good thing they didn't drink too much. All in all, it seemed like Elle's parents had a good time and was comfortable because there was no pressure to behave and they could cut loose. I think it was a success.

Dinner: My mom's family and Ellen's parents

We had dinner tonight at Newport Seafood in San Gabriel. The party consisted of my mom, Aunt Claire, Aunt Jane, Ellen's parents, and of course Ellen and I. Afterwards, we went to xiao mei for shaved ice. It wasn't as bad as I originally thought it would be, and Aunt Claire made the conversation work because she did most of the talking, not to mention she made me look good.

This is the second time my mom had dinner with Elle's parents so she didn't say much either.